Monthly Archives: February 2008

Why do I do that to myself?

I went to St. Cloud today just for kicks…well, mostly because I was bored and the weather was good so I thought I’d go for a drive. I ended up at the mall…because I didn’t know where else to go. I was only there for about an hour and I left feeling sick to my stomach.
Every time I go “shopping” I leave feeling depressed. Because I don’t really need anything and yet, every subtle advertisement beckons to me and tells me something different: “you need better clothes!” “you should be thinner…in better shape” “you need more makeup” “you should really listen to this kind of music,” “Oh, and by the way, you should have a plan for your life…you’re not getting’ any younger”. And all of those things lead to something deeper inside of me that I already struggle with…worth.

I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this and that’s why I’m being so open about it now, because I think people can relate to it (maybe not everyone, but some).
Don’t get me wrong, I know in my heart that my worth is in Christ, and that no worldly thing could change that. And I don’t want to become someone other than I already am, I guess I just want who I am to be ok with everyone else.

This is me! This is the broken body of flesh I walk around in. These are the small talents I have. These are the gifts I offer. This is my sense of humor. This is the way I show you I care about you. This is what I’m good at, and this is what I’m not good at.

All I want is for all that I am to be good enough.

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Posted by on February 25, 2008 in Uncategorized


Yeah, it’s quite cold!

So…it was Negative 23 this morning!

What was I thinking leaving California?

I know people are waiting for a new post…I promise I’ll write when something exciting happens. Any moment I know it.

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Posted by on February 20, 2008 in Uncategorized


As I sit at my desk, staring out my window at the white abyss stretched before me, you know what I’m dieing to do…kidnap someone that has never seen Humboldt and drive them out to the Cove. Ahhh yes. That would be glorious.


Posted by on February 13, 2008 in Uncategorized


The Long Awaited Tour

Ok folks, here is what you have all been waiting for: a chance to see my place.
I like it.

Here’s my room.

And my kitchen.

Living room.

This is going up to the offices.

And this is my “Office”…like my Office Calendar in the corner? It’s my favorite part of the whole place.

So there ya go. It’s the apartment I never had. I love it!

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Posted by on February 12, 2008 in Uncategorized


Midnight stroll

It’s after midnight and I just got back from the quietest, most invigorating walk I think I’ve ever been on.
I pulled my car into the garage after being over at a friend’s house and decided that, instead of heading in for the night, I was going to go on a walk. So I did, and it was awesome. It’s getting colder by the second out there, but when I started it was actually quite nice.

As I walked I just tried to take in everything around me. Not just the physical setting, but also the mental setting of this time in my life. I just turned 25! I wasn’t supposed to live to be 12 for cryin’ out loud! And I’m here, I’m alive! I’ve moved across the country to a place I don’t know, to a job that pays nothing, with no certainty of any future path. Yet, I think this is a magnificent place to be. There’s only one thing I can do…trust the Lord. Lay down all my fear and anxious uncertainty, and rest in the freedom of HIs sovereignty.

Sorry I didn’t have a camera by my side this time; the walk was entirely spur of the moment.
Maybe next time.

Good Night for now!


Posted by on February 9, 2008 in Uncategorized


Trading the Redwoods for Snow-covered Lakes

I went for a drive the other day, and even though it wasn’t through the Redwoods like I’m used to, it was still really beautiful. I took my camera with me this time so you’re gonna come along with (as they say in Minnesota).

This is what I’m seeing out my car window…

That was the first thing I saw that made me take out my camera and start this little document. This house is so picturesque. I love it! Makes me want to go inside and huddle in the picture window with a good book and a hot cup ‘o Chai.

This tree I was pretty impressed with too. I don’t know, it’s just a cool tree and I don’t think people take the time much to stop and look at it. It’s gorgeous with the snow on it like that. You can’t really tell from the picture, but the branches are just frosted with snow; it looks fake when you look at it from where I am. Right across the road from this tree was a guy…on the lake…with his huge truck…and a little house, ice fishing. Unfortunately I didn’t get a picture of that.

And this is the road home…Road trip over!
What’s that you say? “That wasn’t enough pictures!”? Hey pal, I was driving, and taking pictures while you’re driving is dangerous business.
Mmmmmm Bye Now!


Posted by on February 6, 2008 in Uncategorized


Big trip to the Big City!

I knew it was going to be a good day because, after 3 weeks, I finally got some Starbucks! Oh it was lovely! And I bought myself a mug so that I could make chai at home and pretend it was from Starbucks as I gaze at the beautiful mug on my desk. And …AND…it was on sale for like 3 dollars. Can’t beat that, you just can’t.

Then I headed to club 3 Degrees and watched my friend’s band Skylines and Archives play in the battle of the bands. It’s Nathan Walker’s band by the way. I know him from being in CTI for the past few years. It was fun to reconnect with him again.
I just really enjoyed myself. It was fun to go into the city and be out late and have things open! I guess I can’t complain too much because even Willmar, MN is more lively after 6pm than Fortuna, CA. But Minneapolis was a treat none the less.

Nathan’s band ended up winning the round; so he gets to go on to the final round. And if his band wins that then I think they get some recording time and promotional deals and perhaps something about a label? We’re all excited. We’re going to go back to the city in March and watch the final round! Woohoo!

And, of course, I was excited because I got to see Lucas again. I love this guy! He was on Paul’s (who I lead the team to Mexico with) full time team last year, and he also lead the summer team to Singapore when my team went to Mexico. So he’s become a good buddy. And it’s always nice to see good friends again.


Posted by on February 1, 2008 in Uncategorized