The first time snow falls in the winter (or in the fall if you’re from the mid-west) everyone thinks it’s beautiful. It’s so light and fluffy and makes everything look clean; makes you want to cuddle up to someone and drink hot-cocoa by the fireplace. But, as time goes on it becomes a huge bother. You have to shovel your driveway. You have to start your car half an hour before you want to get in it. Yeah sure it’s fun to play in and make snowmen for a while but soon the cold makes your nose want to freeze shut, and your fingers fall off. And let’s be real, snow, and all that it brings with it, can be treacherous and deadly. One could get lost in a blizzard going from their barn to their house and never make it back. Or they could hit a patch of ice while driving and go right into the ditch, only to be covered with snow… and no one would find them!
Lately, the Lord has allowed me to see my sickness in the same light, only the opposite way. This disease is treacherous. It’s deadly. When you first see it it’s ugly, it’s frightening, it’s so easy to lose yourself in it. But when I can just ride it out; when I can get past the ugliness, even in the dire times, there is beauty to be had.
There’s something beautiful in being brought to the end of yourself. There’s something beautiful to be seen in people loving you through sickness. There’s something magnificent in knowing that there is nothing I can do to stop this disease. I can only walk in the direction I’m called and praise the Lord for giving me the breath to do it.
There’s a freedom in weakness. It’s not a cop-out; it’s not a right to say, “Ok then, I’m just going to live my life carelessly and selfishly, while everyone around me works hard, because I’m dying anyway”. Everyone is “dying anyway”! It’s an acknowledgment that this is the life God gave me; this one. And I need to be a good steward of it! It’s an acknowledgment that I am not my own anyway, I belong to the Lord. If I trust Him; if I believe He loves me and that what He does is for my greatest good and His highest glory, then all the fear, and worry, and bitterness will melt away like ice in springtime. And everything becomes beautiful again.