Giving into the Lord by giving into Nolan was the best decision I could have made. From the first moment I told Nolan about my change of heart the Lord began to open my eyes to the perfectly intricate love-story He had been writing all along. For months I was ceaselessly bombarded with the details of God’s creativity. I would be reminded of prayers I had prayed in high school that the Lord was fulfilling through Nolan. Nolan would say things to me that I had only heard in movies, he made me feel like I was a gift to him, but the more time I spent with Nolan the more I realized he was the real gift. Suddenly I couldn’t believe I had gone so long without noticing how wonderful he was, and the days of not having romantic feelings for him were long gone. Just sixteen months after we started dating, Nolan and I were engaged, and in May of 2013 we started the most exciting adventure of our lives: marriage. I thought my twenties were the most thrilling years of my life, and like many people I dreaded turning 30. I became a wife only three months after my 30th birthday though, so I’m quite confident the years ahead of me will be just as exciting as the years behind.
It has only been four months since our wedding, but God has shown me a lot since then. For starters, just because I am no longer part of CTI Music Ministries doesn’t mean my life of ministry has ended. Our whole lives are meant to be ministry. If we call ourselves Christians, we are called to minister to people around us, whether we’re a banker, or a pastor, or a stay-at-home mom, the calling is the same. I don’t need to be traveling the world and playing concerts every day to be part of the same kind of ministry I was doing with CTI. I can be part of the worship team at our home-church, I can visit the prison right here in my own county, I can mentor younger women in this very community, and I can even share my testimony every once in a while. Probably more importantly though, I have learned that my relationship with Christ does not diminish because I’m married, it flourishes. I am being challenged in new ways, and my eyes are being opened to so much more of the character of God. In all honesty, I would not go back to my old life even if I could.
The thing that is most exciting in this entire story is the evidence that I will never reach the end of God. There will never be a moment when I will have experienced everything there is to be had in Christ, because He is a never-ending. I will spend my entire life on earth, and the rest of eternity, being baffled and standing in awe of Him. That’s amazing!
Affects on Counseling
Being married to Nolan will affect my counseling simply because he is supportive. His goal is to love me the way Christ loves His church. Sometimes that looks like listening to me vent, sometimes it means helping around the house so I can spend more time with clients, and it means challenging and praying for me. The client may never see those things, but they will directly affect my confidence as a counselor, and the attention I’m able to give to each client, not to mention the impact prayer from a supportive husband can have.
Overall, the thing I will take with me into counseling is the attitude that I will never stop learning. Just as I will never have God all figured out, so will I never arrive at perfection when it comes to counseling. I anticipate just as many humbling moments, moments of weakness, and moments of total surprise as I have experienced in my life thus far. I look forward to the challenge and joy that will bring.